Hello there old sport. Can I introduce you to a friend of mine. She’s a little shy, but once you get to know her she’s really quite swell. Be warned, she’s clingy and can be a bit of a mess. Also she’s not great one-on-one so maybe it’s best we bring some people along. These here are the heads. They’re going to help me help you get to know this friend of ours. Hello Saucers, that’s our name for you, so deal with it. School of Sauce is a project started by the heads and me. What we’re trying to do is educate ourselves, and anyone who wants to watch our mouths move, about the world of alcohol. One thing to note, there’s an insane amount to cover, so we’re going to be general. Like really a lot very general. We’re starting with the family tree of alcohol. Ooo what’s that!? Well, me in a different shirt, I’m glad you asked. The family tree of alcohol is how everything is related. There are the 3 big families — Beer, Wine, and Liquor.
Out of each fall subcategories like Ale, Red, and Tequila. Then each of those has subcategories. And then there’s more subcategories Some you drink straight. More subcategories. Some you add to stuff. More subcategories. Some taste like candy. More subcategories. Some taste like drywall. It’s all quite complicated. But this is no syllabus week, so let’s just jump in. Beer is awesome. I like beer. Liquor is fantastic. I love liquor Wine is uhhhhhh. Beer is brewed, meaning its ingredients are mixed together and cooked to create the fermentation process.
Liquor is first fermented then distilled, meaning its ingredients are mixed together, left for a period of time, and then the resulting alcohol is separated from the non-alcoholic part. Wine is grape juice that’s been left outside in a kiddy pool for a few days. Okay fine this is supposed to be educational, so Wine is fermented grape juice. Meaning it’s grape juice that they let sit for a few days. Each family of alcohol has it’s own typical alcohol by volume or ABV. This is a measure of the percentage of the liquid that is actually alcohol. Beer has the lowest ABV usually ranging from 4-6% Then comes wine, which is usually 12-14% Then liquor, which is usually somewhere in the 35-45% range. There are a lot of exceptions to those rules, but frankly I don’t care about them. Like I said before each family Beer, Wine, Liquor, has subcategories. There are 2 types of beer. Ales and Lagers. Click my face to see me explain the difference. There are 5 main types of wine: Red, White, Rose, Sparkling, and Fortified. Linkage on screen to one video explaining it all or 5 videos explaining them separately, or I don’t know how we’re going to do this. Do you think we actually plan this stuff out.
Finally there are 6 main types of liquor: Brandy, Gin, Rum, Tequila, Whiskey, and Vodka Linkage on the screen somewhere. Up here, maybe down here, we’ll see. Now I know what you’re thinking right now: Mike, are there more categories than that? Probably, yeah. Mike, do your really have the authority to be teaching me about this subject? ….No Mike, am I going to be smarter for watching all your videos? You won’t not be any less unsmarter. Mike, do you think you sound stupid asking yourself questions like this? No, I sound fucking awesome. We hope you stick around as we dive deeper into the world of alcohol. Go down under to subscribe, like, or leave a comment on how my haircut makes me look like a douche bag.
Also let us know what you’re curious about. We probably want to know too. And remember, it’s always better to have a little of the good stuff than a lot of the bad. Always drink responsibly, prost. .